I didn't drop off the face of the earth, and the excuse of life being busy doesn't quite cut it with the fact that I haven't written a blog post in almost two years (whoops). I have been, and still am actively, working on being more consistently present and using my pen and journal to write all the weird and wonderful movements of my mind. It has been an interesting and greatly changing amount of time. I got engaged, I got married, I moved to a new state, I stopped teaching for a while and became the student again, I became a certified Health and Wellness coach, I started teaching again, and recently I have had so many incredible dreams of mine flickering into full beaming lights that have me giddy with excitement.
And that is what has brought me back to this today, in a word - TRUST. Since September 2021, I have really expanded my online presence and it has gifted me with incredible opportunities and connections. I’m not here to boast, instead I am shining light onto the fact that I feel truly grateful and proud of myself for taking a step beyond my comfort zone and trying out something new with a curious mindset and no expectation. This morning I had a huge realization for a lot of the things that are going on around me and how younger Caryn could have never dreamed for one second that any of this would be happening, or any of these dreams would come to fruition. I pinch myself regularly making sure that the life I live is real. What I am trying to say is whether you need to take a step back, take a step forward, or be still for a while, do it. I'm not going to try and sugarcoat anything, if you feel the tug of your own life pulling you in a direction, or you feel the push back when attempting to move into a new direction, you have to listen to it. Period. Our bodies, minds, and energetic fields are receptive and intuitive to our environments. I believe that sometimes we are not able to fully understand these sensations, the only way to comprehend them is to stop and listen. Stop, and in silence notice what is trying to come up.
Story time. When I first started teaching yoga I taught at a local gym, I had big dreams and big ambitions to create something I knew I was capable of doing. Through relentless control I attempted to shift and move my life in a direction it clearly wasn't meant to be moving in. One night after many tears of frustration I just stopped. It was almost as if a presence came and placed a blanket around my soul with the silent request to be still. In that moment I decided to let go of this control I had on my environment, I said out loud “I let go, I release”. I then wiped my tears, got into bed, and went to sleep. The next morning, I woke up to a text message from an old friend asking me if I wanted to come back to the United States to work in a job I had left a year prior (that’s another story). In that moment I instantly knew it was what I needed to do, there was no hesitation, no anxious feelings of “should I” or “shouldn't I”. Just an internal knowing that this was where my path needed to move. Within a month I had packed my bags and was on a plane. My heart was happy, and even though this new job was a step away from teaching yoga, I knew within that it just wasn't the right time to implement all my goals and ambitions toward my yoga career just yet. The following week, I met my husband. And I am crying as I write this, because had I not stopped and listened, I may have just continued to relentlessly push in the wrong direction. The universe knows where to lead us, and I'm not saying we shouldn't be actively conscious in the where and how we move through our lives, but I truly feel in my heart and soul that when you let go of trying to control everything, things shift into place with ease.
Trust yourselves my loves, trust that gut feeling, that truth within, because it is right! And you may have to be patient a little longer than you would like to be but there is SO much growth happening in those still moments that will launch you further than you could have ever dreamed! Your dreams, goals, and ideas are not unattainable, everything you dream of can become a reality, your reality. Take a deep breath, trust the process, and lean in.
xxx